R 2 N S H is in the HHHHOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSE. That’s Roddi 2 Nottie So Hottie is alive and well here in Cow Town. My last three days in Calgary have shown me that the way of life in the movie, “Fubar”, is still kicking strong like Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Dam combined. I have seen many a mullet while on my training rides and I really do think they are making a comeback. One fellow in particular had a staircase shaved into the side of his head/mullet. Very nice, how much (registered quote from Borat).
The last write up I did was from a World Cup way back in St Anne Quebec. The following weekend we raced in St Felicien which is so into the heart of Quebec that even at Tim Hortons I had to break out ah fran say. Bon jure, ooon caffay avec ooon soocruh aye ooon cramm, and, ooon doooze grains bagel avec burrr. Usually I received a coke and a turkey sandwich from that order.
The race went off with a bang and I found myself battling it out for a top 80 spot which is great if the race has a million people in it. This one had 93. It was a Britney Spears vs her mom type day for me. If you don’t read the headlines on CNN it’s like this when compared to me, I now have a 100 foot restraining order on my bike. It’s not allowed to come any closer than that or I reserve the right to have it arrested and jailed for non-compliance and we all know what happens in jail. Okay, so I suffered like a fat cat in heat and I had many thoughts of retirement in my mind when the race was over.
This past weekend was a Canada Cup race which was at the worlds best race site of Canmore, Alberta. The course was as good as it gets. The following will help everyone to understand what I’m talking about. This course’s hotness is very much like my rugged good looks. It’s like, chizzled abs, rock hard pecs, stunning square jaw line, humongous round Polish head and GLORIOUS unibrow. It was just that good. At least the downhills were anyway. I tore those things apart like a rich fat kid on Christmas morning. I was like, YES, YYYYEEEAAAAYYY, WOOPADY DOO, sweet, a new Power Wheels Hummer, thanks Santy Clause. R 2 N S H was able to ride uphill like a semi-truck hauling elephant dung and then R 2 H was absolutely smoking fast like Burt Reynolds aka the Bandit. Nobody could even get pictures of me because I was just a blur of United Cycle colors red, white and black. I also made race car noises as I went by. ppbppb, bpbpbpppbbpppp, bpbppbppppbpbbppbbppbbpppbpbbpbp, BPBPBPBPPBPBPPBBPPPBPBBPBPBPBPBBPPBBPBPPBPBPB. Yeah, I’m a 4 speed gearbox. Okay enough, I ended up 8th place and I did float on the downs and lumber wagon the ups. It was okay for how I have felt the past 3 years and I was satisfied with it…..for now. For shame to anyone that was behind me. Ha.
July 21st is Nationals at Mt Washington which is on Vancouver Island right close to Comox/Courtenay. Following nationals is the horribley painful Trans Rockies. 7 days of suffering and pain much like eating stinky Tuna of which I did the other day for the first time and it went okay so that does not make much sense. Maybe its’a sign of things to come for the Trans Rockies.
Now for my big announcement. I’m 99% sure I’m not racing next year, nor will I ride a bike uphill either. I’ll only be riding downhills all the while melting eyes and blowing peoples minds with my free riding skillz with a “Z”. I’m planning on working and getting my pre-requisits for the Champion City firefighters application. After that, in 2009 I believe I’ll be making a return and R 2 H will be like a lazer racer. Don’t look directly at me or you will get burned. Glorious, just GLORIOUS.
